Killing your animals for food | Page 2 | Animals | Forums

Lol, if you think a chicken was hard, wait 'til you try to kill a turkey.

We used an axe. Not even a hatchet was big enough.

A couple years ago, I watched my goofy city-boy stoner neighbors try to kill the live turkey they'd bought for Thanksgiving. I watched these idiots first try to wring its neck, and the turkey knocked two of them over.

And then chased them.

Then they tried what must have been the bluntest hatchet on the planet. They'd gotten a rope around the turkey's neck(this was about an hour into the comedy) , and then they wrapped the rope around a tree and pulled the turkey's neck against the trunk. After about a half-dozen approaches that sent the bird flopping and the stoners running, the bird finally calmed down enough for one of the idiots to take a whack at the bird's neck...which didn't do anything but piss the turkey off royally.

Every subsequent attempt to chop the head off was stuffed by the flapping and kicking of one pissed off bird. So the guys decided to back off, knock down a few beers...and one of the jdiots came out and blasted the bird with a shotgun. He actually missed the first shot and pelted the vinyl siding of the house. Then he shot again, dropped the bird, and as it kicked in its death throes he shot it two more times.

Since most of these guys had to have eaten lots of lead paint chips when they were kids, that turkey must have tasted like comfort food.